Parental Alienation Syndrome is a fake syndrome, "junk science," commonly used as a tactic in court to put the victim on the defencive. Sometimes the word Syndrome is left off the accusation in order to create some distance from Dr. Richard Gardner. Sometimes the terms change but be sure to recognize it for what it is so that you can draw attention to it's origination with Dr. Richard Gardner, his other disturbing ideas and the lack of acceptance by the scientific community.
Everyone knows that parents can and have influenced the attitude children have regarding one parent and this is misused by batterers and attorneys and even sometimes courts. I have not yet found well conducted peer reviewed studies on the effects on children when one parents tries to undermine a child's relationship with the other parent. I am still looking and will post links once I can find them. The internet is, however; loaded with unscrupulous studies and reports conducted by questionable individuals who serve to profit from the use of parental alienation as a syndrome. These studies have numerous flaws including invalid and illogical conclusions, a lack of information as to how conclusions where drawn, stating opinions as proven facts (including in the area of child development), a disdain for children who appear to think for themselves, and a lack of consideration regarding the "target" parents actual behaviors and how they might have contributed to a child's opinion the that parent.
While it is obviously a bad idea for a parent to prevent a child from having a healthy relationship with the other parent such a healthy relationship may not be possible when one parent is violent and uses various methods of coercive control. A child knowing about the factual things an abusive parent has done is not the fault of the victim and may be entirely unavoidable in reality. This reality does not prevent batterers and their attorneys from trying to paint the batterer as a victim of parental alienation. They then claim that anything the child has to say about the abusive parent is simply the child regurgitating what they are told to say. When the child then is adamant that their opinion is their own that becomes further evidence of alienation. Everything the protective parent and child then does becomes more evidence of alienation.
The way to combat an accusation of parental alienation is to educate yourself on the flaws of the theory, the connection to Dr. Richard Gardner, Dr. Gardner's other ideas, and its lack of acceptance within the scientific community. Additionally, never talk about how horrible your ex is. Allow the children to talk about their experiences and feeling. Answer their questions honestly and gently but don't interpret things for them. When you discuss anything they have told you with a custody evaluator or the court, do not use the children's exact words. If you use their exact words and they expresses themselves in the same way a mistaken conclusion that you have coached them might be drawn. Express your concerns about their experiences and your desire for them to have a chance to heal so that they might one day be able to have a truly healthy relationship with their father.
